Don't Let Smiling Kid Fool Ya'

I was pretty sure that someone was being murdered or worse.  The noises emanating from the general direction of the nursery indicated that someone had broken in and was torturing my daughter.  Or a prankster had slipped in and let some Swedish Death Metal band practice in her room.  Are those noises even human I asked myself. Fortunately, or so I thought, Emilee was up and moving in that general direction, but was back quick and the banshee loose in the house was still in full howl. "She seems ok, we just have to see if she'll cry it out."

I had my answer about 15 minutes later; and the answer was NO.  So I fall out of bed and work my way to the nursery.  As I open the door I am hit with a sound that can only be described as a jet engine that has hit an entire flock of geese.  The decibel level was quite impressive if I think about it.  But seven hours later I can still hear the screams.  At this point in time (0300 hrs to be precise) I am wondering if she has somehow caught her torso in a bear trap or worse.  What is the cause of the screeching/screaming?

So I decide that if I am going to be up I might as well be productive.  By productive I mean watching the season premier of Deadliest Catch; love my DVR. Anyways, as long as she is in my lap there is no noise.  But if she gets the hint that she is going to be moved to the floor or back to the bed the wailing starts again.  And she does not have to wind up like a tornado siren. No sir; it is all or none.  Then you have to start troubleshooting.  What can I do to fix this.  What does google say?  What does parenting.com say? What did Jethro do with his kid 6 years ago? Amazing what you can find.

It is also amazing what pops into your mind on ZERO sleep and complete noise overload:

1. Is she wet/dirty? Simple check showed all clear.
2. Is she bleeding?  No obvious signs of external exsanguination.
3. Is she hungry/thirsty? Won't touch anything offered.
4. Is this a "fit" that I can expect to deal with for the next 30 something years? Maybe.
5. Is she brain damaged/poisoned/sick/autistic/possessed? All research points to no. No fever/vomiting/etc.
6. Is she in pain?  I THINK WE HAVE A WINNER JIM...Tell him what he's won!

I must be suffering from early onset dementia.  Santana Grace pulls this on a infrequent but frequent enough to remember the last time basis.  What makes her fussy that was not covered?  Glad you asked.  The simple answer is teeth.  The fact that we have been through milder episodes of this for the past 5 months should have been a clue, but welcome to sleep deprivation.

Our little angel has three of the little buggers coming in at the same time. All on different gums and all near the back. After pulling my head out of (remembering) the past events and doing a little more research I realized that my kid needed something cold to chew on and a shot of Jack Daniels.  Since I am out of stock on Jack right now I used some teething tablets that one of Em's friends at work recommended many months ago.  Guess What?  They worked like a charm! 

But I can still hear the screams!


Keep Smiling,

Rob