First Steps

There have been many happy moments in the past 10 months.  I do not think anything will ever compare to Gracie being born, but then again, that was a truly life defining moment for me.  If I stacked things up against the biggest moments in life everything else would be boring.  I don't view life as boring.  On the contrary, I view life as an amusement park ride...to be enjoyed and sometimes scary.

It seems like Emilee and I are always together when the big milestones have happened.   We were there when she rolled over.  We both woke up scared when she slept through the night for the first time.  We were even together when she really crawled for the first time.  It just seems to work out for us that way, so we should have known it was coming.  We both got to watch her take her first unassisted steps on our Christmas morning!

We were up on Christmas Eve morning checking out what Santa had delivered for all of us.  Emilee had to work on Christmas Day, and as I explained to my niece....Santa makes a special trip for those that have to work on Christmas!  Anyway, we were on the floor laughing at the fact that we had $15,000 worth of toys in the floor and all Gracie wanted was the bark that had fallen off of the logs I had brought in to make a fire.  And then the magic happened.

It was if our laughter and sense of family sparked little Miss Anna Grace to action.  She gave a customary grunt and just stood up on her own!  While I was playing with the video recorder on the camera she took three steps to Emilee!  I did not get her feet on video, but I did get to watch her face and Emilee's reaction.
It was the most amazing thing we have witnessed yet.  It has been an amazing journey so far, and I know it will only get better.  I am just not so sure that her Mom and I are ready for a toddler yet!

2010 was an absolutely awesome year for Emilee and I.  We both feel wholly blessed and loved.  We are so grateful for everything we have been given and the blessings God has bestowed upon us.  We are thankful for our friendships and hope that 2011 is as half as amazing as 2010 has been.  Thank you to all of you that truly make our lives happier and fuller.

Keep Smiling,

Rob

Cruisin'

Well, well, well.

It seems I had more time when Em was pregnant.  At least I had more time for writing.  I have missed it, and missed keeping ya'll updated at the same time.  It just seems like nothing is really happening.  I mean; we have teeth now and the little suckers can inflict pain, Gracie keeps growing taller and out of clothes before she hits the age on the tag, and we are dealing with our first cold.  But it seems like we just have a routine and how exciting can routine be.

I tend to let a lot of little things run into one big one.  I do this in all aspects of my life and am then surprised when the obvious outcome happens.  Let me explain how this works with Anna Grace.  She has been crawling since the day she hit her five month old mark.  On her seven month birthday...According to Emilee we actually have to celebrate every month until she is like 40!  So that means I have to keep track of her months and Anna Grace's.  Emilee just turned 341 months old and we had a little celebration.  I think I might be getting taken advantage of.

Anyway, on Gracie's seven month mark she stood up.  Not all by herself mind you, but she pulled herself right up and then looked at us like "What do I do now?"  She quickly fell on her rear end with a satisfying "THUMP" and giggled.  She usually handles the butt first landings very well.  I did however, think we were going to need to get her a helmet.  She looked like a child abuse case with all the bruises on her face and back of her head for a while.  Fortunately she has figured out how to protect that big ol' noggin a bit better lately.

On par for her she soon started cruising.  Cruising, for you non kid folks, is when they walk along holding on to things.  She would take two or three steps and then bust her butt.  She would take more steps if you held her hands and helped her balance.  She even started to stand up and just let go of everything and manage not to fall.  No steps yet, but balance is a big deal. Again, another little thing.

SO here I am amazed this morning as she goes ripping across the room barely keeping up, but keeping up, with the little wheeled dragon her Edie got her.  BTW, Edie is code for Grandmother Edna.  Of course the dragon hits the couch and then she face plants into the dragon, but no tears just a look of "how the hell did I get over here"? She looked up at me and just started kicking her hands and feet in what appeared to be a victory dance.  Then she yelled "Thebakod Dada nekio nhefs" or something like that.

How did we get this far this fast?


Keep Smiling,

Rob

Where Were You 9 Years Ago?

Trevor, Don, and I watched the 2nd plane fly into the towers. I remember us having the conversation about what a tragic accident the first plane hit had been. And I then we realized that it was a much more sinister act than just a simple accident.

I can remember walking into a Shell gas station on Hwy 20, later that morning, and watching a 50+ year old man smack the ever loving shit out of a man who was obviously from somewhere in the middle east. The attendant was watching the WTC news feed and made the following comment:

"It's about time the United States felt a little of what they give to the rest of the world."

I remember being absolutely frozen. I could not have dreamed that an event the size of what happened that day would occur in my life time. I can only imagine that it was similar to what my grandparents felt when the news of Pearl Harbor hit them. Fortunately for them, they did not have a 24/7 news feed streaming into their homes. Fortunately for us, we were able to get the news we "needed" when we needed it.

I have thought many times about the statement the attendant at the gas station made. Did we have it coming? Had the US overextended its moral/religious reach and brought this action on herself? Basically were we reaping what we had sewn? Why did I feel partly to blame for the events unfolding in front of me on the TV? Why, why, why?

And then I thought about it. Initially I bought into the theory that the US meddled too much. I mean WE were founded on personal and national freedom; why force our way of life on those that don't want it? What right did we have to push our belief systems on the rest of the planet? Who asked us to be the crusaders of the 20th century?

I struggled, I screamed for revenge, and I actually thought about what it meant to be an American and what our role was on the planet. I really don't care if you agree with the following, but I wanted to make sure that I was not one of those hiding behind the flag or a hatred for it. I guess this is my simple treatise on what the US needs to be.

Faith in Freedom: Why The US Is Responsible For The Safety & Freedom Of Mankind.

Through the history of mankind there is always one superior power. We have seen the Assyrians, Greeks, Romans, Ottomans, Huns, English, Spanish, and now the Americans dominate the planet they knew at specific times in history. All have failed because of one simple issue: greed and corruption.

If we focus on today's world, we can easily see greed and corruption on scales not yet encountered in recorded history. Here in the US alone we have witnessed the evaporation of trillions of dollars in wealth over the past few years in the name of capitalism. The United States has always had a reputation of the bully because we project our belief system into areas where we are told that it is not welcome. The US does a lot of things wrong. I will never argue that, but it is the one thing we do right that makes us the standard bearer. We respect and honor freedom.

Look at the globe. Far more people live under the yoke of oppression than do not. We have peoples in this country that "feel oppressed", but would never make that claim if they were to sample life in India, China, Pakistan, Iran, or anywhere in Africa. We have a populace that like to bitch and moan because they have the right too. That right is what we need to project to the world. We need to make the world realize that we don't have to be tolerant of them if they are not willing to be tolerant of us. Why should we be tolerant of oppression when the oppressors are not tolerant of freedom?

I happen to be a Christian, but that does not mean I cannot be at peace with those of Hindu, Jewish, and Muslim faiths. I do however; refuse to allow people to come into power that will allow one group to usurp the freedoms of all groups. That is why the US has to take the lead in the world. Did we demand a change in religion in Japan after WW II; NO. Do we demand a change in religion in Iraq or Afghanistan; NO. But other nations that wish to push an agenda will demand the following of a "true faith". They will demand complete adherence to a specific god and a specific belief system that is led by a few insane leaders. We are responsible for stopping this in the world. We are responsible because we believe in freedom!

The issue we face in this nation is that we have to many lazy people who continue to vote for leaders who promise and fail to deliver. We pay lip service to doing that which is necessary and then we fail to vote, we fail to speak up, and we fail to defend our freedom against a creeping and subversive elite that would see us slaves to a sycophantic leadership. We have the responsibility to shrug off this yoke of socialist leadership and take back the freedoms we were founded upon. Then we can project the power and beauty of personal freedom to the world.

We were founded on the belief that hard work, faith, and a man's ability to make up his own mind would give us a great nation, and it has. We owe the rest of the world the opportunity to discover this for themselves. It is not forcing our hand and belief system on people when we eliminate a layer of oppression; it is allowing them the opportunity to choose for themselves.

We are based on freedom. We believe in freedom. We have been blessed by God and hard work. We owe. Not to the people who are too lazy to do for themselves, but for those who are to powerless to do for themselves...

Always remember,

Rob

Stitches

I don't think I ever felt more nauseated. I was pretty sure I was going to start vomiting at any minute, and I knew I just had to keep it together. Some of you have seen me on my worst drunken evenings and even those would not compare. I felt like I had just taken the father of my prom date's car and wrecked it. "Why did it have to happen on my watch?" I kept asking myself. Why did I have to be the one to make the phone call? How did Anna Grace end up bleeding so much under my care?

Yep, I was responsible for the 1st dent on the new car that is my daughter. On Friday the 13th, perfect date, she received her first stitches. I made reference to her newfound mobility in my last post. She is a mobile terror now and she keeps ending up places you don't expect. Even when you are watching her intently she just materializes in places you don't expect and can't predict. Well this time she ended up under me and the recliner. That's when the real fun began.

Fortunately I had already gotten into the habit of checking out my immediate floor space before I move or kick the recliner stool in. If I had not looked I might have actually amputated her right index finger. But instead I tried to coax her out of her cave and had zero success. So I had to resort to crawling over the side. When I did so the recliner rocked and I heard the scream.

At first glance I thought I had crushed her finger; good thing a 5 month old has cartilage and not true bone for fingers. What I had had managed to was trap her finger in the scissor mechanism of the foot rest. If you can picture two pieces of metal trapping your finger hard enough for the skin to explode open then you have the right idea. I was able to pull the pieces apart and free her finger, but not before the damage had been done. And, not before I realized I was in big trouble!

Nothing I have ever seen or been a part of in EMS could have prepared me for the flood of thoughts and feelings that ran through my brain. I even thought about calling 911 a couple of times. Yes, I was almost THAT hysterical parent. However, I was able to take a deep breath and make the following things happen:

1. I had a brief moment of panic.
2. I changed her diaper. Right before the accident she went through the normal "weightlifter squatting 200 more pounds than they ever have before" grunting and I knew she was ripe.
3. I put together a diaper bag full of food and two changes of clothes.
4. I panicked for the 2nd time in three minutes.
5. I actually thought this thought..."Can I take her to Scottish Rite and get it fixed without telling Emilee and see if she notices."
6. I bandaged the screaming, flailing, kicking, and bleeding like a stuck hog 5 month old without assistance or tying her down.
7. I threw up in my mouth a little bit.

I did all of this in about 5 minutes. I had her in the car seat and we were out the door. The whole time I was running through my head what I was going to say to Emilee, and then the phone rang...and the explaining began.

To Emilee's credit she handled it way better than I did until she saw Anna Grace and then she lost it. But who wouldn't when you see your kid hurt and getting stitches. She took all five of them like a champ and they come out this coming Monday. Everything appears to be healing well and we have all learned a vial lesson on the mobility and possible destination of our little injury magnet. I pray to God she did not get that trait from me or we are in for a long childhood and a frequent flyer card at the Emergency Department.

Stay Safe,

Rob

PS - Looking back at some events can lead to humor inside of the pain. Just after I had managed to get the first bandage (toilet paper) into Gracie's fing

er she jammed the whole thing in her mouth. When I looked back at her it looked as if a lioness had just made a fresh kill! There was blood everywhere and she had stopped crying long enough to have a big toothless grin on her face. I wish I had a film crew with me at the time.

First Crawl

I think I realized how much fun Gracie learning to crawl is going to be. Last Monday she started to basically army crawl. Amazing to watch and scary to think about all of the additional things she could now get into. I gained an immediate appreciation for all of this when I watched her crawl over to the floor vent for the A/C and proceed to throw up into it. She looked so proud of herself as she turned and looked at me with a big toothless grin; and then the smell hit.

Fortunately it was easy enough to get the vent off and the mess cleaned up. But I can't help but picture all of the places she can get to now. I picture her on top of the fridge. I picture her crawling across the street. I picture her in one of the fireplaces. Boy do we have some baby proofing to do! We had already started to do some of it for when Avery comes and visits so the project is already started. But I never realized what a minefield a house was for a kid until I had one looking to get into everything.

Another fun thing to watch is the dog. Poor Ike! He has been so good for so long and just has to feel like we destroyed his whole world. We were

already getting the "what the hell is this thing" looks from him. And you know he goes to his support group with stories of how "it just won't quit crying". Now he has to deal with a stalker. She loves to crawl over to him to check him out, and just as she is reaching out to touch him he moves. She just turns and stalks again, and Ike looks at me like I have introduced him to hell on earth!

We also have a tooth coming in. You can see the nub just breaking the skin on her lower gum line. I don't know if I am totally ready for the teeth to come in. She looks so adorable when she hits you with one of her big toothless grins. I know she has to grow up, but I already don't like it. It is not that I see myself getting older as she grows. It is the fact that I can already see the day that all of this fun innocence is gone.

So that's a quick update. Enjoy the pics and the video.

Stay Safe,

Rob

Blogging Was Easier When She Was an Ultrasound!

For both of my loyal followers it must seem like an eternity since I have put fingers to keyboard. It used to be so simple to sit down for 20-30 minutes and just put my thoughts into a mildly entertaining form of pregnancy update. What a difference an infant makes! This kid has a special type of radar; she knows to go off exactly when productivity is about to happen.

When I have absolutely got to get something accomplished she melts down. You try to feed her so you can enjoy your meal, and she has no desire to eat UNTIL your food is ready. You have to be impressed by her simple ability to time her "me time" exactly when you are trying to have yours. If we slept well she takes two hours naps. If we had problems sleeping you can't get her to take one. And the list goes on and on.

But most of it has been pretty awesome. She is growing like a weed. Fortunately she is in the 97th percentile for height and 48th for weight. We are trying to figure out who in our family is not built in the other proportion. She is now doing bottle and spoon feedings. The spoon feedings are easily the most frustrating/entertaining thing I have done with her so far. She acts like she is all ready; mouth open in a big inviting pose, and then a hand comes out of nowhere and you have sweet potatoes in your hair and all over the wall. She follows all of this up with a big laugh and grin. So much for getting upset.

She drools about 2 gallons of slobber a day right now. We keep looking for a tooth but none have shown yet. She also is in the EVERYTHING goes into her mouth stage. Does not matter if it is her feet, the dog's tail, a pacifier, or her entire fist. The doctor says that that is a good sign developmentally. I just hope she ends that habit by high school.

She gets cuter everyday and she has learned how to inchworm herself around. Soon she should be crawling. I'll keep you guys updated.

Stay Safe,

Rob

The Rollover

Some of you may be waiting for some detailed account of a car wreck I worked and I am going to have to disappoint you. This is all about our magical moppet Anna Grace.

Her mother has been obsessed with the whole "rolling over" thing. I have to admit that I myself have been found watching Gracie just waiting for something, anything, to happen. I am constantly thinking about the old saying "a watched pot never boils", and much can be said the same about an infant. I am not talking about boiling an infant! Although the noises coming out of her diaper make one wonder what she is "cooking". She will lay there smiling toothlessly at me and Em and when we look away for approx 0.00001 sec or more she does something impressive. I don't know how many hours we have spent just staring waiting for something to happen (OK about 50 hours) just to have her do nothing! Nothing that is until you look away!

Lately it has been rolling over that we have been waiting for. She tries and tries while we watch and then when we look up to give some knowing glance to one another it happens. She had been able to roll from her stomach to her back when she was 6 weeks old so we had gotten used to it. But we got a glimpse of the new milestone last week when she tried to roll from her back to her stomach. We were so excited! We knew that this would happen eventually but not until she was closer to six months old. SO guess what we have been doing for the past week; staring and waiting.

And waiting. Oh, she would flip herself over, but never when we were watching. Well finally last night she performed and we both got to see it. It was really cool. I know it must sound pretty pathetic to most of you that two grown adults have nothing better to do than stare at a 3 month old and wait for something to happen. I would have thought the same thing as late as Feb 28, 2010, but there is something amazing about it. We get to watch something (loose term) become someone. We are to mold that someone. For better or worse we are responsible for the upbringing of this little girl.

I am also excited because she sleeps through the night now. Bed at 10 pm up between 7 am and 830 am. It is amazing how much more adorable your child becomes when you get some sleep. Plus, she smiles most of the time. A wonderful, goofy, toothless, smile that is infectious and inspiring. I hope it stays that way. I hope it stays that way because I think we are going to try for number two next year and I am pretty sure that one is going to be hell spawn!

Keep Smiling,

Rob

Not Premature Anymore

Gracie had her follow up at Sibley Heart Center today. If you recall, we had taken her into the center to get checked out after she had some abnormalities on her ECG after she was born. She still had some of the premature beats when we took her in to be evaluated. At that evaluation she also had an echo-cardiogram done and her heart was found to be structurally sound. We were worried that we would be seeing the cardiologist on a very regular basis throughout Gracie's childhood. I was even worried that it may effect the way she was able to interact with other kids as she got older.

But those fears were squashed today. Anna Grace has nothing premature on her ECG anymore! The doc told us that we were "welcomed to come back but not expected to". Some of you can probably imagine the relief we felt when we heard the news. It is nice to know that it will be mom and dad holding her back and not something with her heart.

We have also been very busy over the past few weeks. We have been out of town twice. The first time was for a wedding in South Carolina We were up and back in one day, but Anna Grace traveled wonderfully. We even took a weekend trip to the Ga coast and she did great. Me and Em were eaten alive by bugs, but Gracie did great! She loves the car.

We are now at 11 weeks old, 11 pounds 12 ounces, and 24 inches long. She is eating 6 ounces at a clip and even sleeps for 6 whole hours at a time. She looks great and seems to be adjusting nicely. You can tell she is even trying to communicate and does alot of "talking". She is very active and is strong. The bobble head is almost gone and she will stand up in my lap with just some help to steady her. She has even started to roll over occasionally. She is jut figuring it all out.

If only her parents were doing so well.....

Keep Smiling,

Rob

SO Much Has Happened....

SO the blog is back! I want to say thanks to all of you who were concerned about its disappearance. I did not know how many loyal readers I had until I had to take it down.

For those of you who do not know what happened here's the short story. I had my email hacked and a virus wiped out all of my email, facebook, and gmail account info. It was a pretty big pain in the butt, but I had luckily archived my blog two days prior to the terror attack on my communications. I was NOT in Wales if you got that email, but I do appreciate the worry that was generated for my family's well-being.

I will be updating our lives on here this week. I just wanted to get this notice out and let you know that construction is complete, and there will be more stories of my fatherhood fumblings to follow.

Keep Smiling,

Rob

Blowout!

For all of my bragging about how I had managed to not get puked, peed, or pooped on I never realized how stunned I would be when it finally happened.  I had enjoyed picking on Emilee because she had borne the brunt of the body fluid attacks.  I actually started to feel bad for her too.  She had been the victim of full on vomiting and she had been peed on several times.  The worst of the attacks resembled the spatter from a shotgun attack.  Anna Grace actually shot poo all over Emilee, the dresser, the crib, and the changing table AND all with a smile on her face.  Emilee however; was not overly amused.

So Emilee had been the victim, and me being the loving supportive husband I am totally teased her about it.  Of course Gracie had not pooped on me because I was her favorite.  Of course this was a look into the future regarding child/parent relationships.  I was sure it would never happen to me.  And I was right for five and a half weeks.  Let me preface this with a simple HUGGIES SUCK!

I am now under the impression that my luck was somewhat due to proper equipment.  You see we had been using Pampers and then switched to Huggies.  We are really grateful for all of the diapers we received as gifts, but we were cruising with the Pampers.  They fit better, are more absorbent, and apparently have better gaskets.  I never had an issue with leakage with the Pampers, and they are much easier to put on a wriggling potentially poo flinging kid.  Oh, and they have the "wet" stripe that turns green when wet!

The Huggies we have fall short in all of the above categories.  Just how short you ask?  At 3 AM Sunday morning I am up for the "feed and clean" session that Emilee and I try to take turns handling.  I had settled into another episode of Las Vegas when Anna Gracie emits the most guttural groan I have ever heard and a fart that would make Jim Carrey proud!  The only problem with this fart was the moisture that flowed with it.  It kind of reminded me of the following joke:

           SON:  Hey Dad, are farts lumpy?

           DAD: Only the good ones!

Yes, it was quite impressive.  SO impressive in fact that it blew out the "O" ring on her diaper.  My beautiful, precious, perfect little GIRL had managed not only to fill her diaper but overfill her diaper; and astonishingly so!  She had managed to cover parts of both legs and had actually forced poop halfway up her back.  She had blown it THROUGH the diaper and then soaked her clothes.  All of this while she was sitting in MY lap.  Now I have run into some interesting things in my EMS career, but this was a new one.  My daughter had actually taken a dump on me!  And sat there with the biggest smile I have seen on her face yet!

As I jumped into the shower to hose off I had to wonder if this was a preview of OUR relationship in her teens.

Keep Smiling,

Rob

The John Adams Project

Just a quick heads up to say that this is NOT a fatherhood blog.  Well I guess it could be; I mean my daughter will grow up in a country being overrun by idiots and traitors. 

I must say that I was not surprised by the two items I am going to discuss in this blog.  Well not surprised after I thought about what I had heard.  I AM surprised however; that with US Citizens like the one's I am about to discuss we still have a standing nation.  The audacity of some and the idiocy of others merely shows how resilient a Democracy (or Federalist Republic) can truly be.  Although the name sake of this particular article had other thoughts...

Democracy... while it lasts is more bloody than either [aristocracy or monarchy]. Remember, democracy never lasts long. It soon wastes, exhausts, and murders itself. There is never a democracy that did not commit suicide - John Adams

On my way home from work Wednesday night (4/7/10) I was listening to CNN and Anderson Cooper.  The discussion  was centered on the Governor of Virginia calling for "Confederate History Month".  Apparently he is upset about all of the other history months and the slant that modern textbooks place on the Civil War.  Now I am not going to downplay the significance of our Civil War,  but we are 145 years removed from the end of it.  So I am pleasantly ignoring the droning of talking heads when I hear an obviously white male speak the words...."but the Civil War had nothing to do with slavery."

His defense of this was that the Southern states were only interested in State's rights and that slavery never factored into this.  He actually said that it was okay for slavery to be in place in the US because "it was in place all over the world ."  The problem with that theory is that other than Russia slavery had already been banned in the other countries of the developed world, but I digress.  Guess who the counter point guest was....You guessed it, a black male.

That is all it took.  One ignorant talking head and we are now back on the "the white man has been holding us down" super highway.  Forget the fact that we have one of our Governors trying to drum up publicity for a subject designed specifically to drum up support from his white voters.  Forget the fact that it could have been a great debate about the importance of state's rights.  Forget the fact that the more we get sucked into bullshit debates the further we get from dealing with the true issues we face as a nation. Forget the fact that 12% of the population hijacks the debate to keep 100% of the nation from moving forward.

When are we going to learn?  When are we going to learn that we have more IMPORTANT things to do than debate what happened 150 years ago?  Why is it important to have a "Confederate History Month"?  It's not! Why is it important to have any history month?  It's not!  What it shows me is that our education system is in such miserable condition that we have to have focus group history lessons. This is a very simple example of how ignorant the leadership of our country is.  The true fact however, is that this is an example of the AMERICAN VOTER.

So there I was broken from my gentle hypnotism that was my 45 mile drive home; disgusted at where we are as an American people and about to become more severely disappointed.  Thanks Fox News.

The discussion here centered on the Attorney General of our nation (Eric Holder) declaring that he felt that the attorneys at Gitmo defending the"Al-Queda 7" were patriots.  Here is his quote:

"Let me be clear about this: Lawyers who provide counsel for the unpopular are -- and should be treated as what they are -- patriots."
 

WTF?  Lawyers that defend unpopular American citizens are doing a job that is provided for by US Law.  This does not make them patriots.  Doing your job does not make you a patriot.  You may be a patriot and decide to do a job (i.e. military) but just doing your job in itself does not make you a patriot.  AND, these "people" were not US citizens and committed terrorist acts against our country.  SO these lawyers may be doing their jobs, but they are not patriots.  Now I will tell you why some of them are traitors and should be hanged as such.

Many of these lawyers worked for the ACLU.  (Side Note: I am shaking as I type this because I am so pissed off.)  These "patriots" decided that in the spirit of John Adams heroic defense of the British soldiers after the Boston Massacre they would give these "people" a patriotic defense.  I guess they missed the part in the history books that teaches us that we (The Colonies) were STILL UNDER British Law at the time.  Colonists broke the laws of the land and John Adams was defending the governing power.
 

Anyway they (The ACLU) launch the "John Adams Project".  The goal of this project?  To photograph CIA operatives in the home countries of these "people" and then provide these photographs to the "people" they are defending.  These photos then get passed, through lawyer privilege,  to the assholes in the Middle East that constantly want to ruin our way of life.  CIA operatives that provide information that protects you, me, our families, and everyone else on US soil were sold out by US citizens.  I hope Jason tries to defend lawyers on this one!

You and I are LESS safe because we allow people to be in positions of power that actually believe that the US is the evil empire.  We should all be ashamed. I hope that more people become aware of the nightmare approaching us.  I am glad I will miss the true end even if I am not missing the decline of the most powerful nation of its time.  But I am very sad my daughter may be around to see it.

Stay Safe,

Rob

Yet Another Ultrasound

Five weeks ago today we welcomed our daughter into the world.  We were excited, tired, and nervous.  Since that day we have found new challenges and rewards.  We have passed most of the first month milestones with flying colors, and the one's we missed were minor.  But today we hit a major one with mixed but good results.

Before Gracie was born we were informed that she was "skipping beats".  Basically her little heart was jumping around a little bit.  After she was born we had a couple of EKG's done on her and we discovered that she was having PAC's.  PAC's are premature atrial contractions.  This simply means that the top chambers of the heart beat early sometimes.  Sometimes this comes from a defect, but is not an uncommon finding in newborns.  You see, they have shunts that run through their hearts and these have to close before the heart can function correctly.

We were also told that she was having occasional PVC's.  These are premature ventricular contractions; meaning the bottom chambers beat early sometimes.  These can be more dangerous because if they are bad enough they do not allow the heart to pump enough blood to the body.  If this happens in adults they feel like they are have palpitations, or they might feel dizzy and weak.  When it happens in an infant it can lead to under development of major body systems.  We have been worried about the both of them for the past five weeks.

Until today; today we had an appointment with the pediatric cardiologists at the Sibley Heart Center.
Everything we had heard about this group was amazing.  I know several parents who have taken their children to this practice and ALL have had wonderful things to say about them.  Even with such a great reputation you worry.  So we set out this morning hoping for good news for our daughter and our nerves.

We had a great experience. The staff was amazing.  They were very professional and very patient with us and our questions.  First Gracie had an EKG tracing done and there they were; PAC's and PVC's.  Not good news.  Initially (5 weeks ago) we had been told that in 90% of the cases the irregular beats would just go away.  SO at least we know we know Gracie is in the top 10% of some group already; Just not the right group.   Then the doc tells us we have to have an "echo".

An echo cardiogram  is basically an ultrasound of the heart.  Good thing Gracie is used to radio waves bouncing off of her!  This should be routine.  Fortunately it was.  The technician running the machine gave us a guided tour through our daughter's normal heart. At least structurally normal.  He let us know that Gracie's heart is perfect as far as he could see.  After the echo the doc walked in a confirmed everything the ultrasound tech had told us.  I can't tell you how relieved we were.

It has been an amazing five weeks.  Poop is smelling now and coming in greater quantities.  Crying is MUCH louder; kid has some pipes.  She is managing not to be as much of a bobble head and she is starting to grab things and pull; like my goatee!  But most of all we are learning how to become a family.  It's pretty exciting to us; I just hope the happy times just keep rolling.


Keep Smiling,
Rob

From One Month to 18 Years

One month old!  Well 4 weeks old anyway.  We have managed not to kill her, drop her, or sell her to the white slavers.  We have figured out some of the cries.  We have had many late nights, many early mornings, and have learned that there is NOTHING on the dish at 0400 hrs.  At times it has felt like one long day.  At other times it seems like we have been doing this for much longer than 4 weeks.  She gets bigger daily and is starting to put the feed away.

Emilee is already having to put clothes into storage for the next kid to wear.  I am not saying it will be our kid, but Gracie is already starting to outgrow stuff.  We go through about 15-20 diapers a day!  The funny part about that number is that she will blow through three in one diaper change.  I again want to thank everyone that bought us diapers in preparation for this...We have only bought one pack so far!

We are getting used to my new schedule.  This was the first full week and so far it is working out well.  We had our first "date" since Gracie was born and we had a great time.  "Edie" (Em's Mom) babysat for a few hours and we got to escape the land of breast milk and dirty diapers.  Emilee says getting out of the house makes her fell like a normal person again.  After all there is only so much wall staring one can do and facebook has its limitations.

So all of this has happened in just one month...one busy month.  But as I was screaming at the radio one night this week on my way home (health care vote) I started to think about what kind of world Anna Grace would be living in when she grew up.  I had to pick a time frame.  I figured that the average kid goes to college and "gets out of the house" around 18 years old so that is where I started.  The year is 2028.....


I want to place a disclaimer before I leap into this.  Some of the research that I did took me to some pretty interesting sites.  I have included some of them along with my own personal thoughts below.

1.  We won't be here!  According to the "learned", the world is going to end on December 23rd 2012.  I don't worry about his one too much though; I have survived 54 known "endings of the world" in my lifetime alone.

2.  I think she may actually turn 18 in the People's Republic of China.  After Obama drives the country into bankruptcy he sells the keys to the White House to the reds.

3.  She may be just like you and I were at 18.  Full of confidence that impending adulthood brings and a big pain in the butt.  She will think she knows everything and won't decide she does not until she has her own kids.

4.  I actually found a theory that stated that we would be in the middle of an interplanetary war with the founders of this planet.  Kind of like 1776 all over again!  If we are I hope she is some kind of literal rocket scientist.

5.   There are estimates that show the world population at 8 billion by then.  Will she have enough to eat?  Will there be enough clean water?  What will the power source of the day be?

I tend to think that she will be in a world that is much poorer, less Godly, more violent, and much more dangerous.  I hope that we can protect her long enough so that she can learn to make good decisions on her own.  I want to be able to that without being overprotective.  I want her to learn how to defend her self, her rights, and her beliefs.  Is there a weapons and ninja school available for newborns?


Keep Smiling,

Rob

Walking Through Open Doors

Greetings and salutations from the land of breast milk and dirty diapers!  We are now well into Anna Grace's third week of life.  Things are settling in and Mom and Dad have had some opportunity to settle into a routine.  We also have been able to work on establishing routines for Anna Grace.  She gets fed at certain intervals and she sleeps for certain intervals.  Those are easy to figure out, but the diaper schedule is quite fascinating. 

How something so small produces so much waste is a true feat.  The best part of it is when you get a diaper changed and as soon as you have the new diaper, the 54 buttons on the outfit, and the swaddle blanket all in place the blow out occurs.  And I do mean blow out!  Rinse and repeat.

We have also discovered something out of all the books we have read and professional advice we have received; little of it matters.  We just function through instinct and have managed to keep her alive this long.  But the books are entertaining, I read one article that recommends breast feeding until they naturally wean themselves; 4.5 years is the average!  You should have seen the look on Emilee's face.

I wish I had seen the look on Emilee's face when our little princess shot poop through the air during a diaper change and all over momma!  Oh, the small pleasures.

I have heard many times that God opens the doors you are to pass through and will close those doors that he deems unnecessary to our lives.  The key to this is recognizing when the door has been opened.  Well, I had one opened this past week.  I am going to be leaving the field on a full time basis to teach full time.

It will be a small reduction in income, but I will not have to work weekends anymore!  We go from having to find some type of child care 10 -12 days a month for our little moppet to 3-4!  Any of you that have dealt with the cost of this know what a savings this will be.  Even with family and friends kicking in it gets obnoxious.  So any of you looking for me can find me playing Mr. Mom on the weekends!

I hope everyone is doing well.  We are all healthy and enjoying the weather change.  After all it is much easier to talk the wife into going for walks when it is 60+ degrees outside, and spring is always so beautiful here in North Georgia.  By the way, who has the best ideas for landscaping a hill if grass is out?

Keep Smiling,

Rob

One Week Down

As you all know by now, we had a new addition to our family.  Anna Grace Bozicevich was born last Monday (3/1/10) and we brought her home last Wednesday afternoon.  In just the past few days I have experienced things I never thought I would experience.  Some of these things have been positive, and some of these things have been negative.  But, I am sure they all make me a stronger person. That which does not kill us makes us stronger, right?

I will readily admit that, so far, the positives WAY outnumber the negatives.  She barely opens her eyes, but when she does you can see all of the potential and future that this little "eight pounds of chaos" has in front of her.  You can see the perfection in God's plan for us.  You see those deep blue eyes...wait a minute, Steve where were you in mid June?  It also makes me reflect on how my parents must have felt looking into my eyes.  I wonder if they were as unsure of themselves as I am right now but as determined to always try to do right by my daughter.

She also  gives you a "fill up" on the spirituality meter.  Those of you that know me well know that I have always been a very hot/cold Christian.  There are times when I am in very close contact with my faith and times when I can only find it using a GPS.  I can tell you that looking at my daughter and desiring to do the best job I can has led me back to the "hot" side.  I pray more earnestly and think more sincerely about the things I need to make happen in my relationship with Christ.  I also remember NOT to pray for patience but for strength.  And I have already remembered to turn over my problems to God and let him carry them for me when I cannot. Only so much crying anyone can take at 3 AM.

Her being home has also given me a sense of family.  We may feel it when we are growing up, but I think many of us lose it when we get out of our parents house.  Until we brought her home I just felt like I was playing house.  Yes I am married. Yes we own a home and have responsibilities.  Yes I have Mom and Kelly.  But I had not felt that true sense of family in a long time.  Everyone goes their own way.  Now Em and I have to guide our daughter and ourselves.  Now I have that sense of family again.

I have also seen myself being tested.  So far I have stayed calm and at peace.  I know that may change if Anna Grace ends up being a colicky baby, but it has been manageable up to this point.  Every day that Emilee and I can keep propping each other up and keep from going crazy is a victory for our family.  We are growing as a team.  We are laying the foundation for our lives and that feels good.

Negatives are all a part of this experience too.  Emilee is hurting.  Labor is not a gentle thing and recovery takes some time.  Emilee has not been able to sit straight for days.  Then she has her milk coming in to feed the baby.  Add a couple of days of no sleep on top of it all.  I think you get the picture.

The days of doing whatever, wherever, whenever are over.  I don't mean that in a "I am pissy that I can't go out to dinner or out with my buddies" kind of way.  I truly never realized what it takes to get a kid out the door.  I have to undress her if she's being swaddled, check a diaper, strap her into the car seat, get her covered back up, and clip her into the car.  All of these to realize that she has just pooped her diaper again.  Rinse and repeat.

And here is my take on the most controversial subject we run into; breast feeding.  Emilee wanted nothing to do with it before she got pregnant.  She thought of it as disgusting.  "It's drainage!" she would exclaim.  As she progressed through the pregnancy and read about what was best for our baby she did a 180.  By the time Anna Grace was born Emilee was a champion of the "breastocracy". Then just when Emilee and Baby Boz were about to have this amazing bonding experience; the little PITA balked. Anna Grace wanted nothing to do with it!

So we brought in the lactation consultants and they helped a little bit.  We talked to the nursery nurses and that helped a little bit.  But "the most natural thing a baby and mother can do" is not the most natural thing for some.  Short of super gluing the kids lips to Emilee, Anna Grace would not (or has not yet anyway) feed "straight from the tap."  To watch as frantic mom and child tried to make this work was heartbreaking.  Talk about feeling helpless;  crying screaming kid and crying frustrated mom and nothing you can do about it.  SO we turned to the next option.  It's bottle time.

So Emilee pumps and we both get to feed.  I can't tell you that this has alleviated all of the stress.  Pumping comes with its own set of issues and we have had to do some supplementation with formula.  Also, I never knew that a 5 day old could have worse smelling gas than most of my friends.  But all I can do is be supportive and try to understand that the kid is way more resilient than I realized. I say all of this because I know that some of "my readers" are expectant fathers and no one bothered to tell me any of this.

BOTTOM LINE: Your child needs to be loved and fed. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!


We are becoming more resourceful quickly though; here are some early lessons:




1. Anna Grace loves the sound of the garden tub.   
2. The "burrito wrap" is a wonderful thing.
3. Great advice is essential. We were worried that we were establishing bad
habits already in an attempt to calm her. Marty Gates (Justin's wife) hit us
with..."Just remember you can break any habits you start. You can't regain your
sanity if you lose it."
4. Mylicon is the BOMB!
5. Work in shifts. Don't let one week turn into one long day.

For any of you expectant fathers that have been reading this; dote on your wife.  The challenges from your newborn are enough, don't piss her off too!



Keep Smiling,

Rob

The Delivery

OK, Emilee was ready to have the baby, but apparently the OB was not. Janet (Day nurse) comes in and tells us that the Doc is in Cumming with another patient and that Emilee should just get comfortable and “not sit up”. Emilee’s response was swift but muted. Fortunately I had the “look dictionary” at my finger tips and could decipher the “tell him to get his ass down here AND PRONTO” look. I’ve seen it; I know to obey. Janet also knew the look and responded nicely with “I’ll get his butt on the phone”. And she did and you could hear her dressing him down all the way in the delivery room.

The funny part of all of this were the instructions Emilee was given. Janet came in and told Emilee that the Doc wanted Emilee to do the following:

1. Don’t sit up.

2. If you feel any pressure, don’t push.

3. Just try to relax.

Em was not very happy, but she was handling it all very well. The funny part was watching her look under the sheets every five minutes. I looked and her and asked “what the hell are you doing?” She looked me dead in the eye and said “I can’t feel a thing down there! What if she just falls out?” Well I guess I had the answer to that question. I also got an answer to number three on the list, but that one is not fit to print. All of this occurred around noon.

As we were waiting for Dr Siegel to arrive Janet came into the room and started to get the pushing process started. I was too afraid to keep the updates flowing while Emilee was in “push mode”. She even asked if I was still keeping everyone updated and I told her no. This was our time and I was not going to infringe on it. Call it self preservation or believe that I was into the moment. I really was. This was the culmination of the past two tears and I was not going to miss any of it.

But back to Janet and her task for Emilee, it was time to start pushing. I even had a job; I was the Left Leg holder. From the position I was in I was able to see everything. My job was to help Emilee get her legs into position so she could effectively push. Each time Em had a contraction I helped her get her leg into a knee to chest position. By doing this it helped open up the pathway for Anna Grace to enter the world. It was a pretty awesome sight. What follows is the non-graphic version.

Imagine a game of two steps forward, one step back in a tunnel and you should have it. As Emilee was pushing I could see the top of Anna Grace’s head and when she stopped it would back up and disappear. There it is, there it goes. There it is, there it goes. There it is, there it goes but not so far as last time. This game went on for about an hour and then the head did not vanish! I was not sure the head was human at this point, but it did not vanish. Now where is the Doc?

Not far away fortunately. He walked in the room around 1:45 PM and took stock of the situation. He determined that Emilee was doing very well, the baby was in no distress, and he had not missed his window of opportunity to bill his full rate. He gets gowned and gloved and gets into catching position, then starts the most amazing part of the whole experience. He starts to text his office!

He was texting his office to let them know he was going to be tied up for a bit, but it was surreal at first. Emilee loves telling everybody that part of the story. He is looking at Emilee’s progress, texting, and telling how great she is doing like he is the ultimate multi-tasker. Good thing he was. We all got into our positions to help Emilee out. At one point he wondered why at 10 cm and a kid about hanging out why Emilee only wanted to push every five to six minutes. Figured it out pretty quick though; the Pitocin was turned off.

So they turned it back on and the real fun began. Now that Emilee had a little drug assist the contraction sped up and became stronger. At approximately 1:50 PM the pushing became serious business. Each time Emilee pushed I thought her eyes were going to come flying out of their sockets. I was lost. We had developed a pre-hospital birthing plan of “just do what the Nurse and Doc tell us to do”. Thank God that they had done about 1000 of these. With the nurse coaching Emilee and the Doc catching all I had to do was be there for support. I even managed to get it right.

Emilee wanted to give up only one time. She felt like “everything down there is ripping apart” despite the epidural. Dr Siegel was able to give some shots of lidocaine and the pain eventually settled down. But it wasn’t the lidocaine that did the trick; it was his and the nurse’s sense of humor. At the worst point for Emilee the nurse and the Doc started joking with her about the people doing the water births down the hall (another blog), and it took her mind off the pain until the local could work.

An hour later we had introduced Anna Grace into the world. Emilee did an amazing job! She never, well almost never, waivered and literally pushed through to success. The group we had to support all of this work Emilee did was amazing. The L&D Nurses and Dr Siegel were the most supportive helpful group you could imagine. I want to give Tracie, Connie, and Janet my heartfelt thanks for everything. We will always have great things to say about our experience

And here she is, at 7 lbs 11 oz and 19.5 inches tall; Anna Grace Bozicevich.