Doppler - Not Just For Tornadoes Anymore!

Close your eyes. Well try to imagine the following scene anyway. If you closed your eyes when I told you to you are kinda stuck. You'll never even get this far in the blog. Hopefully you figured it out and are progressing along nicely now.

You are at home watching your favorite show and the EBS tone keeps going off. That's the annoying tone the Emergency Broadcast System puts out to alert you that bad weather has been spotted, a child has been abducted, or they just wanted you to miss the most important 60 seconds in your show's history. It tells you all hell is about to break lose weather wise. So you dutifully turn on Channel 2 so Glenn Burns (Dagmar for you Justin) can tell you how bad it's gonna get and how bad the trailer park 20 miles west of you just got pounded. He brings up the doppler radar screen so you can see all of the pretty colors...actually I might need to watch in black & white because the colors sometimes confuse me.

Anyway, he tells you how doppler radar tracks the storm so you can get you and yours to safety. You come out of the basement to see the roof is still intact and all is well again. So when Emilee told me we were renting a doppler machine I was psyched. I mean what guy would not want a doppler, right? A mini weather station in my own back yard. I was thinking "what a great early Christmas present". SO, the doppler arrives, but the box is only about the size of a paperback. No big deal right? The Japanese have probably figured out how to shrink these babies for home use. Then Emilee opened it.

"Why are you opening my Christmas present? Don't you want to wrap it first?" I asked. Guys, has the wife/girlfriend/person in the car next to you ever given you the "how did I end up with this retard" look? Well I got it. And then I got a medical lesson because doppler is not just for tornadoes anymore...it measures the fetal heart rate.

That's right, it's a baby tracking machine. Many people don't know how doppler is used in the medical field. I had to look it up to see exactly how it works and watch ER staff use them often to find pulses. Simply put, it senses fluid shifts so those trained in its use can pick up a pulse wave. It is actually a pretty remarkable device in that way. It actually allows the user to find a pulse that would not otherwise be audible. We can actually (maybe if we figure this thing out) listen to the babies heartbeat.

So here we are at 10 weeks into the pregnancy and we have a new toy to track development. But give a guy some warning. I walk into the bedroom after a shower and Em is sprawled out on the bed covered in a clear liquid. I thought she had had some tragic lotion incident. But, she was just playing with the acoustic jelly that helps the doppler pick up sound transmission. I think she used THREE whole tubes of $97 per tube jelly just to find the "windy sound" that the placenta makes through the doppler. But then something much better than a tornado happened.

After about 10 minutes of playing with the thing, and me thinking I am gonna have to clean all of this up before I can climb into bed, we heard the pulse. Now it took some time but we heard it. At first it was tough to differentiate it from Emilee's pulse. But sure enough, there it was! We counted 164 beats in one minute. Exactly what it should be for this point in the pregnancy. It was amazing! Then E was able to position it so we could hear her pulse and the baby's at the same time. I don't think she saw it but it brought a tear to my eye. Or maybe it didn't. I am not admitting to anything the way some of you harass me. lol

I give Emilee some good natured grief about her paranoia in all of this, but I am not the one that has to do the heavy lifting. She has been a trooper. She has wanted this for so long and she made me want it too. When we first met, I was 90% sure I did not want children. Now I can't wait and I owe it all to her. I love you very much Emilee. I just hope I show it enough.

Stay safe,

Rob

Check Out My Big One Inch!

OK, sounds a little (no pun intended) dirty. But I am referring to the rapidly growing clump of cells that Emilee is incubating. We had our first scheduled ultrasound this week.

I really am amazed at what technology can do. I don't think it is as impressive to Emilee because she gets subjected to all of this testing and stuff. I just get to sit back and watch. The remaining ultrasounds won't be so bad. They will do the technique that everyone pictures when you think of an ultrasound. You know, a huge pregnant woman with her belly looking like it is going to split open and they are rubbing a wand all over it. But that is not the type of ultrasound we had done. It had to get closer. Fellas ask your wives for more details.

So the wand is placed and all of a sudden we can see...

Well, I can't really tell what we are looking at. On the screen is a black and white image of, of something! The Ultrasound technician starts in with "It looks perfect! You can see the head and the body. Oh! and look, there's the cord." She points at the screen to show us where everything is, but I am pretty sure that she could have told us anything. She could have told me she could she two heads on the baby and I would have not known any better. I looked at Emilee and we had the same look on our faces.

You know the look. It's the look you give the mechanic when he tells you the 5th fetzer valve is stuck. The look you give your wife when she tries to explain the intricacies of her fertility charting, or the look she gives you when you try to explain that fantasy football IS a sport. The look many of us give the customer service people at the wireless store as they explain why the new gadget is far superior to the one you bought 6 months ago and paid $400 for. The look means "I have to trust you because I don't know any better. Please don't be f'ing with me!"

Fortunately the technician seemed to be the honest sort. And it was all good news! The baby is one inch long right now and growing at one millimeter per day. After a little instruction, we could see the heart beat and the blood moving through the umbilical cord. Pretty awe inspiring when you realize what goes on to get to this point. God is definitely in the works!

So now we are in the 90% zone for going to term. Good feelings all around. Oh and before I forget, Emilee does not want me giving away the name of our boy/girl. Something about bad luck. So don't let her know I told you the following: Girl Name - Krystall Montana Bozicevich & Boy Name - Tracey Ruprecht Bozicevich.

Stay Safe,

Rob

PS - You fix the stuck fetzer valve with gauze pads and 30 weight motor oil.

Step Away From the Buffet Please

Emilee and I were out running errands on Monday when we happened upon a thing from the past. A place that defied aging and took me back to my childhood. A place that I once looked upon with reverence and anticipation. My baseball and football playing days would have been empty, even perhaps devoid of happiness, without its life and memory sustaining food and atmosphere. Yes, I am talking about the dine-in Pizza Hut.

Now I know that the above description may be a little over the top. But I know that those of you that grew up around me can fondly remember the Pizza Hut across from Sprayberry. Always crowded and always a buffet full of the (kids are easy to please remember) best pizza on the planet. They even had dessert pizza, and as much of it as you could stomach. I can even remember the night after my last football game of my freshman year when the "O" line went in and the five of us ate 18 pizzas! Not a fabrication either folks. Ah! Great memories.

Fast forward 20 years and you walk into the twilight zone. Emilee, bless her heart, loves Pizza Hut. I have actually heard her talking in her sleep about the bread sticks. "Just a little more marinara" I have heard her cry out into the night. So we ineveitably end up with a $30 medium pizza and breadstick order, of which she has 3 breadsticks and then is full. Every now and then on our errands we and up in Canton and we have to stop at the last buffet Pizza Hut I know of. This is where my true story begins.

As we are walking in I announce "I bet we see at least one Superfat person in here". Unfortunately I was not dissapointed, we spotted a family of them. I am almost inclined to call them a herd based on the feeding habits. They were strategically seated about a foot from the end of the buffet. From here they could watch for new prey to land under the heat lamps, and they did not have to navigate any unwarranted obstacles. It was a man and woman in their 30's with a kid that I would guess was about ten. I am pretty sure he weighed about 200 pounds. The mom and pop were an easy 300-350 each.

We kept an uneasy watch over the feeding. Emilee and I were both awaiting the imminent choking/cardiac arrest/stampeding of other guests that we were sure was going to happen. The enetertaining part came when any of the family members had to get out of their chairs to attack the new prey that had hit the buffet table. They looked very put off that the waitress did not just set the six pizzas she had just brought out directly onto their table. Emilee even noticed the "little" boy was flushed and sweating from EATING. Not getting up, just eating.

I looked at Emilee and told her I hoped she would simply put a bullet in my head if I ever got that big. As a matter of fact, I have that deal with at least one of you reading this and I hope you keep your promise. But what unsettled me the most was the 10 year old. Adults have the ability to make our own decisions. A few of us have allowed ourselves to live an unhealthy life style. We eat the wrong things, drink too much, smoke too much, and generally sit too much. We make the decisions that make us feel crummy and have only ourselves to blame for it.

But children take their examples from parents and the other authority figures around them. Kids are going to do whatever we allow them to get away with. All that child's parents have done is set the kid up for more and earlier onset of health problems, ridicule from his peers, self pity, and a general lack of self estseem. I notice these things more now that I am preparing to be a father. If any of you see me allowing my children, or should I say failing my children please let me know.

We all have the ability to make ourselves as healthy or unhealthy as we want, but please lets not pass that down to our children.


Stay Safe,

Rob

The Ugly Non-American

Ok, I started off with something easy. Ya'll got to tell me about what a great guy I am and how I will succeed at being a father. I really appreciate it. I do not think that this next topic will be very controversial to the majority of this group, but it something I have had recent experience with and wanted to vent my spleen a little.

Emilee and I have been fortunate enough to do some traveling this year. We went to Alaska in May and then to Vegas in July. Now I know that aside from temperature extremes there does not seem to be much in common between the two. But if you turn to the demographics of these tourist havens you will notice one thing. Both are overloaded with very rude, very obnoxious, and very unhygienic people. Unfortunately I am not talking about the locals. Locals tend to fade into the background anywhere you go and they think we are the awful ones. We are but not as bad as....

The oriental women. I have traveled to many places and have never been put off more than by the 79 year old Japanese/Korean/Vietnamese woman that HAS to be in the seat you are in, be playing the slot you are playing, or get 6" closer to the sunset than you are. Then after they have hip-checked you out of the way turn and look at you like you should be grateful to have been touched by someone who is obviously a vastly superior human being. Emilee actually had a lady push her off of her chair on the cruise ship just so she could play a slot machine. There were only 60 other machines. Must have been the B-29's on the slot reels that attracted her. And they travel in wolf packs.

The Latin American men. They would actually be entertaining to watch if you just had to pay attention to the way some of these guys dress. I have always appreciated silk shorts and green suede Adidas sneakers after all. But it is the family that is attached to them that will make your trip that much more fun. These men obviously love to procreate. Each family has 6 kids, i know this because I have heard their names at least 10 times on EVERY excursion/attraction I have been on. And I am pretty sure the same guy was behind me in the ticket line and just said "8 of whatever the guy in front of me is doing." The biggest problem here is that the man is too important to do anything with the kids or wife. She is a very sympathetic figure, she has all of the work. I do think it amazing that she can actually push a stroller, spank a kid, yell at the two hanging off the dock, and breast feed all at the same time.

Anyone of Indian/Pakistani origin. It's called a bath, enough said.

I understand that Americans have the reputation of being rude, crude, and morally unacceptable in the rest of the world. My observation is that we are not the only ones. other cultures are very quick to point out that the US traveler needs to bend its will to match wherever they are. How about those people practicing what they preach.

Stay Safe,

Rob

What I hope to teach my child

I think all of you are aware by now that Emilee and I are expecting our first child. I want to thank everyone for the support they have given us while we struggled through our bout of infertility. It is good to know that there are people I can turn to and talk to about the things that frustrate me. By the way, we did it on our own!

I hope that I am a good father. Everyone is quick to say "you're going to be a great father", but will I be? How does one become a great father? I think my Dad tried everything he could to be a great father. But even the man I loved and respected had major flaws and in the end failed his wife and family. Thankfully I did gain a great lesson out of losing him. I learned that you cannot judge your success by the size of your bank account and you have to trust those that you love. I learned some other things from him early on like how to throw a curve ball, how to drive, and how to properly use a wrench. But I think the biggest lessons he taught me were in his death.

I don't want to wait that long to teach my child the biggest lessons they learn. I want my child to grow up knowing that friendships are important and that success is measured in happiness and family. My Dad may have thought those things deep down but he never let them manifest into life lessons. I want my child to see how a man loves his family, his life, and his friends. I also want my child to realize that be connected to the Holy Spirit is an important part of success. I am going to need reminders from some of you when I fail to show this myself.

I want to show my child that the parents are in charge, but easy to talk to. I have no thoughts of being "BFF" with my kid, they have to understand the difference between parenting and friendship. I want them to feel safe with Emilee and I, but I also want that healthy dose of fear we had for our Dad's. Where is the balance?

I want to teach my child to respect all people, at first anyway, and that the best way to earn respect is through honesty and hard work. How many people do you know that are lazy & sneaky that you respect? I can think of several that I think the gene pool would be better off without, and that's just in the immediate family! LOL

Finally, I want to teach my child to think for themselves. To develop a trust in their senses and intellect that allows them to make solid decisions. Notice I did not say the right decision. Mistakes are a part of life and we often learn more from them than we learn from doing the right thing. They need to be able to fend for themselves because one day we won't be there to do it for them.

Oh, and no roller shoes!

Stay Safe,

Rob

Welcome Everybody

I have invited all of you to this site for a reason. We all have thoughts and opinions about what goes on around us. It might be the President, the economy, bad drivers, or any of a million other things. But the one thing we all have in common is our ability to think for ourselves and the love to express what we believe to be right.

I am hoping to put something worthy of myself on this post once or twice a week. I hope that you enjoy and I hope that we all can grow out of this experience.

Thanks,
Rob