Life With A Six Month Old....Fetus

Well, we just got home from the last vacation we will take together and by ourselves for a while. We had a blast on the cruise and were very happy to see Steve and Kristen married and on their way to a blissful life. I just hope that we are as happy as they look, and I hope we stay as happy as some of the other couples on the ship seemed to be. Of course you are probably gonna be happy when you have had 32 Rum Punches, but you gotta do what you gotta do. Anyway, we are very happy and for some very exciting reasons.

It has been a while since I have done something truly baby centric here in the blog. The last few weeks have watched Emilee grow, sometimes overnight, but have been relatively quiet. I mean we already had the heart and brain in the works and only she got to feel the baby kick. Everything was moving along well. So well in fact that it became sort of normal. Well as normal as it can be when your wife has to pee every 22 minutes. But now I have news to report!

This past Thursday, while cramming some kind of cruise food down our gullets, Anna Grace turned 6 months old. At least she has been gestating for 6 months anyway. She is about to hit another milestone for survivability and we are entering the final stretch. By the way, I am not talking about E's belly here. But we both swear that she just "magically" grows while asleep; similar to Jack's beanstalk, but I digress. The point here is that we are in the "you better get ready" part of the pregnancy.

For a better glimpse at 6 months I turn to smartmomma.com

Over a foot long, your baby weighs in at almost two pounds now. He is already practicing walking by pedaling his feet and kicking you, sometimes right in the cervix. Ouch! Your baby has developed a strong grip and he can open and close his eyes in reaction to light. His vocal cords are fully functional, although he won’t be truly practicing until he sees his first glimpse of daylight. Hiccups are common for him as your little one practices swallowing, and you may feel these throughout the day. A baby born now can survive with intensive care.

Emilee has already felt the hiccuping, and feels her move around much more frequently. I even get to get into the act now. For the past 2-3 weeks Emilee would put my hand onto her belly and ask if I could feel the baby moving. Then she would get mad at me when I would tell her I could not. I did not have the stones to tell her that she just needed to produce a baby that could kick hard enough for me to feel it, so I just waited. Now I can feel it! It is one of the most amazing things I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing.

There have been many things throughout the pre-pregnancy & pregnancy that I have been excited by; finding out, the first ultrasound, watching the baby develop normally (in spite of massive doses of radio waves), and seeing the joy in Emilee's face every time we talk about the baby, etc. But this is the coolest yet! I have actually been TOUCHED by my daughter and it is the most amazing thing. I can't imagine what I will feel when I get to hold her and look at her without the aid of a 7,500 watt radio tower!

I also wanted to tell you guys that the name game is over. I let it slip earlier, but her name is Anna Grace. I got shot down. Of course I was pulling for Shaqwanda Sue, but I lost out in the heated game of "Rock, Paper, Scissors." I did get to pick the nickname though, and it's...

The topic of another blog.


Stay Safe,

Rob

A Little Slice of White Trash Heaven

Before anyone else can make the comment, I am not referring to my immediate family with the above title. I sit here in the "bus" (ambulance for you lay people) watching the magnificent array of people that God has seen fit to create. I never fail to wonder at how some people just have "it" and some could not find "it" if it walked up and smacked them in the face. The "it" I am referring to is looks, style, and charisma. Some of may have one or even two of these traits. Most of us are OK looking and get by personality wise. But, some people are the envy of the masses.

But this blog is not about the envy of the masses. This blog is about those people that we look at and just thank God that we are not that person. This blog is about those people who make you feel better about yourself just because you took a good look at them. This blog is about the people I saw this weekend at Goldrush.

Goldrush is an annual event in Dahlonega. It is like any other town festival that celebrates the history and culture of that particular town. We have all been to them. There are funnel cakes, and craft booths, and local produce vendors. There are people selling pottery that has absolutely ZERO purpose but you cannot keep away from it. It does not matter if you are young or old; you are welcome and will be entertained. But the best part, other than stocking up on Chow Chow, is the never ending stream of people to watch.

People that are dressed in clothes that make you wonder if they have a single mirror in their house. Men and women that have mullets that would make the most rabid Billy Ray Cyrus fan jealous. 450 pound dudes that have the rainbow colored western shirt (snaps up the front) and the boots to match more than one of the colors in the shirt. The old lady chain smoking Marlboro's through her tracheotomy. People making the 3 year old walk in the cold and rain, but the little Shih Tzu is wrapped up in the stroller. I could go on and on.
This would be much better with pictures, so I am going to cut the dialogue short and direct you to the following web site. Enjoy a little slice of white trash heaven. I know I will.

http://www.peopleofwalmart.com/

Stay Safe,

Rob

How Do You Want Your Life To End?

Most people probably look at the above question and wonder if I am sitting in the dark listening to The Cure. I assure you that is not the case. This blog is not meant to be a depressive, dark, bleak look at the end of our lives. This blog is not even about the finality of death. Besides, one could argue that death is only the beginning. But the beginning of what exactly? As a Christian I believe, if I get my act together, that eternal life with my creator awaits. Buddhists believe in reincarnation on a journey to Nirvana. Muslims believe in a "resting period" for the soul until judgment day. Whatever our beliefs on the afterlife, we are playing a big game of wait and see. But we can have some control of the end of our time here on this planet, spiritual plane, or whatever you want to call it.

How many of us have actually thought about our last days and what condition we will be in? I have. I make sure my Mom has. I make sure my students do. Why do I do this? Why do I point out something that most people like to keep buried in the basement of reason and emotion? Because I watch people die badly. I see people put through possible pain and physical torture because many people are too scared to sit down and be honest with themselves and their loved ones. I hope this short opinion serves as a clarion call to those of you in denial about our only true fate.

This past Saturday I participated in yet another desecration of the human body. Justin and I were called out to my favorite address (HIPPA prevents the listing) for a 74 year old male in cardiac arrest. The "patient" had a history of heart, kidney, and other various conditions. I do not know the specific reasons for his being placed into the "skilled nursing facility", but I have seen enough of these to know that it was probably for one of the following reasons:

1. Family did not have the time/resources to care for him.
2. Family did not have the want to "deal" with him.
3. Family was basically "warehousing" him until he was dead.

Regardless of the reason, this patient was now on his way to find out the truth about the afterlife. Unfortunately, he did not get to do so easily.

Our patient's body, I sincerely hope he was unable to feel anything, received abuse and punishment that would probably kill him if he was not dead already. He was being "worked" when we arrived. CPR is not gentle. Sure, when you are getting certified and you are doing chest compressions everything feels nice and pliable. Everything pops back in place. Real life CPR compressions are different, especially in the elderly. I counted seven "pops" as I did compressions. The "pops" were ribs I was breaking as I tried to get blood moving to his heart and brain. We inserted, jammed is probably a better word, a large plastic tube down his throat. We stuck him with needles and shot enough epi into him to get a pulse out of a stone. We even got to watch the ER staff suction about 250 cc's of blood out of his airway because of the trauma that had been done to his lungs during whole affair. After abusing this guy's corpse for about 30 minutes it was finally over. The ER doc told everyone to stop and the body could finally rest.

When you quit breathing and your heart stops beating that is usually the end. Some get to come back; you hear stories about it all of the time. I can even say that I have truly brought someone back from the dead. Most of the time however, that is the end of the line; unless EMS gets involved. See when we get called we HAVE to act. Once you tell us that you don't know how long mom has been down or that "I was just talking to him" we have to start "life saving" procedures. There are only a couple of ways around this. You are either very obviously dead, or you have the proper paperwork in place.

This person was a "full code". That term refers to the fact that all possible interventions are to be used to prolong life. That means that no matter how futile the attempt will be you want everything done. That includes life support should you be "lucky" enough to regain a pulse. You get to exist because you are hooked up to a machine that breathes for you and you get fed by an IV line. You are stuck in a state of purgatory on earth until your heart finally quits. Was this how you wanted your life to end? For those of you thinking about your families, is this how you would want their life to end?

This is a very emotional topic, but I think it is a very crucial one. I encourage all of you to discuss your wants with your family. This decision may never have to be made. I plan to go out in the middle of a threesome with Fergie and Giada from a massive stroke myself. I can promise you that I have had these discussions with my family and friends. I will encourage all of those I love to make these decisions for themselves before a scared/selfish family member makes it for you. Matt you know where the 9mm is if Emilee balks right?

Stay Safe,

Rob

I Obviously Missed Something

Before I get into the meat of the matter I want to discuss, I want to again thank you all for your readership. I have been tracking visits and I just eclipsed the 1,000 hit mark, so thank you all. also want to thank those of you that have been responding to the articles. As I discussed with a few of you, I want the feedback. I like the discourse. I may not always agree with it and you will not always agree with me. However, that reasoning should NEVER be a reason to shut down communications. On the contrary; it should strengthen it. And, SIGN YOUR RESPONSES!

First things first, this blog is sponsored by the letters W, T, and F; as in WTF?

WASHINGTON/OSLO, Oct 9 (Reuters) - Barack Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize on Friday in a stunning decision that honored the first-year U.S. president more for promise than achievement and drew both praise and skepticism around the world.

The bestowal of one of the world's top accolades on Obama, who has yet to score a major foreign policy success after nearly nine months in office, was greeted with gasps from the audience at the announcement ceremony in Oslo.

I am sure most of you saw this. How could you not? Our president has been awarded one of the most prestigious international awards out there. Even he was shocked that he received it. I am pretty sure he and Rahm Emanuel were sitting in a hidden chamber of the White House getting high when the idea to nominate him came up. He was nominated 11 DAYS after he was inaugurated. All I remember about the first 11 days was the mess that had to be cleaned up after his posse destroyed DC. How does that qualify someone for the Nobel?

Even the people who were in the audience for the announcement did not see this one coming. If you watch the video and actually listen after the announcement, you hear a lot of groans and surprised gasps. Why would people be surprised if he actually deserved the award? They would not be. They would welcome him. They would praise him.

Well some have been praising him. Like Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez. They both call it a "positive step". I don't know about you, but I do not like the fact that two of the leading communists in our hemisphere think anything our president does is a positive step for them. For those nations to throw off the yoke of communist repression would be a positive step. To see that they applaud this decision makes my stomach knot up.

There are also many pundits who predict this will actually HURT U.S. capabilities in the future. Pretty easy to criticize sanctions and the like when the man enforcing them is the Nobel Peace Prize winner. Maybe our enemies will get the idea that we are soft. It would have been easy to give Neville Chamberlain the prize after he appeased Nazi Germany. I mean he held off war, right. To what lengths will Obama now go to prove he deserved the award? Should we as Americans be worried?

I think we should be. He has already started the process of selling us out to the lesser nations. He wants to weaken us through guilt and appeasement. He has already put more zero's on the national debt than we did in the first 230+ years of being a nation, and he wants it bigger! He is already nationalizing U.S. industry and is looking to spread the wings of his albatross he is trying to hang around the neck of this great nation. What does he have planned for us next?

Will he be our Nero; will he simply "fiddle" as we all watch the U.S. and all she stands for burn?

Stay Safe,

Rob

This is Going to Piss More Than One Of You Off

I just read another one of Lynn's blogs and it got me fired up! Many of you may find this hard to believe, but I keep my mouth shut way more often than I run it when my opinion may cause conflict. I love conflict normally. But lately I have tried to monitor what comes out of my mouth. It keeps me out of trouble at home, and it keeps my blood pressure at respectable levels. Anyway, I really liked reading Lynn describe how she cleared the air. SO hear it goes.

Whether some of you realize it or not, you are not the sole authority on how children should be raised. You may be the authority on how you and your spouse raise your children, but you are not going to be my Dr Spock. If you don't know who he is, just know he is not a Vulcan. Those of you that don't have children have great theories but you know even less than I do at this point in time. I know you offer your theories out of love and helpfulness. I know you want the best for us. I know you drive me and Emilee up the wall. We have a plan, and you don't have to agree with it. Don't worry, if we raise the next Jeffery Dahmer, you can come rub your advice in my face. Fair Deal?

Emilee and I are going to have to both work. We like our lifestyle and have the jobs to be able to make a two income family work. But because of our ideas I have heard theories ranging from:

1. If I love my wife and kid(s) I'll figure out how to make more money so E can stay at home.
2. Any time spent in day care is emotionally crippling to a child. We should be ashamed of ourselves because we will be abusing our child.
3. A woman's place is in the home and she should be ashamed of herself for wanting a career.
4. God's plan indicates that the woman be at home and the man is out earning for the family.
5. Why would Emilee trust YOU with the child care?

Now I can already picture the faces in about 10 of ya'll. I love all of you dearly, I really do. But I will mess up my kids my way, you mess up your kids your way. Now onto my defense against the above theories.

I love Emilee more than any other woman I have ever known (Sorry Mom!) and I would do whatever it took to provide for my family. We have actually pre-planned this scenario. But as of right now Emilee feels like she is going to want to work. Second, I see more emotionally retarded people that came from private/home schooling and nanny care than I could ever count. Children need to learn to be social. Keeping them boarded up in the house because you are afraid to teach and release them is a commentary on your own insecurities. Please do not push them onto me.

I really do not want to touch on "the woman's place is in the home". It scares me as a topic because I will catch crap from either side. Let's just say that I think Emilee will make the right decision. I have covered what God does when we tell him our plans, so how the hell do I know what God's plan for me is. I know, read the Bible. So whose translation should I believe, the Pope's or Jim Baker's? Finally, Emilee trusts me with child care because she has no other options!

I have received great insight into being a new father from Topper, Trevor, and Justin. They all have given me very honest unbiased advice. I have received encouragement from Mom and my other dads. I have read books on how to raise a happy secure child. You know what I have learned from all of this? Everyone is guessing!!!!!! It is a day to day effort and you just hope you do your best. I promise all of you that are worried about us and love us; we are going to do our best.

We are going to make decisions about our family that don't make you happy. We are going to raise our children in ways different than what you may feel appropriate. We are going to make mistakes and you will have the opportunity to tell me, I do not recommend you tell Emilee, that you told me so. And I will have the opportunity to tell some of you to *&%$ Off! That's because that's what friends do. I don't want the advice and opinions to stop, just lay off with the judgment.

Stay Safe,

Rob

It's Not A Five Dollar Footlong

We turned nineteen weeks yesterday (Thursday), and Emilee tells me that the baby is now the size of a Subway six inch sub. I thought that was a pretty cool reference. I mean we have been talking about having a hamburger and now we can diversify a bit. I think I will have the combo. Then I get the damn $5 foot long jingle stuck in my head. I hate that jingle. It is so simple and you hear it everywhere. It also made me think of when our kid will be a foot long and how much I wish it was only going to cost me five dollars.

For those of you that have had children in the last few years, this question is a simple one for you. Does anyone know how much strollers cost? I do! For the "travel" system, we are looking at shelling out $300! And I thought the kid was going to PREVENT us from traveling. Then Emilee had to rain on my parade and tell me that the stroller did not come with frequent flier miles. It is called a "travel" system because it allows you to travel with your child to fun and exciting places like the diaper aisle. But of course there is more to be concerned with.

Emilee has been researching everything having to do with the baby and its logistical needs. I am glad she is doing it because if it were me everything would be stainless steel. It's easy to clean and always looks good. But she has actually fretted over every detail from safety to colors to fit. I need to explain fit. It has nothing to do with the backseat of the car or how well it folds down to fit in the back of the car. It has to fit in the right spot on the grocery cart!

Yes you read the last part of that right. We spent 30 minutes in Babies R Us looking at different seats and "travel" systems to see how the seat part of the operation fits in the child seat of the shopping cart. Who knew that his was a pass/fail criteria for a stroller seat? I feel cheated. I am pretty sure my mom just sat me in the buggy and propped me up with some of the groceries. Maybe that is where my love for Charmin started. We bonded as it protected me! Anyway, do you know what we decided on? Neither do I. I just hope we pick one out soon.

What is funny, to me anyway, about much of this is that she will scrutinize one thing for weeks before NOT being able to make a decision. Then when asked about something else on the never ending list of stuff we have to buy she just makes a snap judgment. I asked her about the vibro chair or whatever it is called and got look #34 (I don't have to justify it) as she informed me that it just looked the cutest. And here I was thinking that it had to fit somewhere. I get so confused.

I have also learned that you can't just take the car seat in and out of every car. No, No, No. You have to buy bases so that they can be more secure. These things are about $50 a pop and they are just PVC. It's Plastic! $50 for a molded piece of plastic!!!!! I just picture the inventor of this thing laughing his ass off about this one. "We sell plastic seat with straps to Americans. They never figure out it cost $2.50 to make." (Taiwanese accent by the way). They really saw us coming on this one. What happened to the back of your mom or dad's hand to stop you from being ejected anyway? I made it out alive.

I know that I am being ridiculous here. Everyone wants their children to be as safe as possible. I would feel horrible if something happened to little Quineshia. I just wish it weren't such an obvious racket. I keep looking for Pauli Walnuts to come out of the back of these baby stores. I would probably feel LESS abused if it was the mob behind all of it. At least I could go in and play my numbers while I was making sure the seat fit in the right part of the shopping cart.

Stay Safe,

Rob