From One Month to 18 Years

One month old!  Well 4 weeks old anyway.  We have managed not to kill her, drop her, or sell her to the white slavers.  We have figured out some of the cries.  We have had many late nights, many early mornings, and have learned that there is NOTHING on the dish at 0400 hrs.  At times it has felt like one long day.  At other times it seems like we have been doing this for much longer than 4 weeks.  She gets bigger daily and is starting to put the feed away.

Emilee is already having to put clothes into storage for the next kid to wear.  I am not saying it will be our kid, but Gracie is already starting to outgrow stuff.  We go through about 15-20 diapers a day!  The funny part about that number is that she will blow through three in one diaper change.  I again want to thank everyone that bought us diapers in preparation for this...We have only bought one pack so far!

We are getting used to my new schedule.  This was the first full week and so far it is working out well.  We had our first "date" since Gracie was born and we had a great time.  "Edie" (Em's Mom) babysat for a few hours and we got to escape the land of breast milk and dirty diapers.  Emilee says getting out of the house makes her fell like a normal person again.  After all there is only so much wall staring one can do and facebook has its limitations.

So all of this has happened in just one month...one busy month.  But as I was screaming at the radio one night this week on my way home (health care vote) I started to think about what kind of world Anna Grace would be living in when she grew up.  I had to pick a time frame.  I figured that the average kid goes to college and "gets out of the house" around 18 years old so that is where I started.  The year is 2028.....


I want to place a disclaimer before I leap into this.  Some of the research that I did took me to some pretty interesting sites.  I have included some of them along with my own personal thoughts below.

1.  We won't be here!  According to the "learned", the world is going to end on December 23rd 2012.  I don't worry about his one too much though; I have survived 54 known "endings of the world" in my lifetime alone.

2.  I think she may actually turn 18 in the People's Republic of China.  After Obama drives the country into bankruptcy he sells the keys to the White House to the reds.

3.  She may be just like you and I were at 18.  Full of confidence that impending adulthood brings and a big pain in the butt.  She will think she knows everything and won't decide she does not until she has her own kids.

4.  I actually found a theory that stated that we would be in the middle of an interplanetary war with the founders of this planet.  Kind of like 1776 all over again!  If we are I hope she is some kind of literal rocket scientist.

5.   There are estimates that show the world population at 8 billion by then.  Will she have enough to eat?  Will there be enough clean water?  What will the power source of the day be?

I tend to think that she will be in a world that is much poorer, less Godly, more violent, and much more dangerous.  I hope that we can protect her long enough so that she can learn to make good decisions on her own.  I want to be able to that without being overprotective.  I want her to learn how to defend her self, her rights, and her beliefs.  Is there a weapons and ninja school available for newborns?


Keep Smiling,

Rob

Walking Through Open Doors

Greetings and salutations from the land of breast milk and dirty diapers!  We are now well into Anna Grace's third week of life.  Things are settling in and Mom and Dad have had some opportunity to settle into a routine.  We also have been able to work on establishing routines for Anna Grace.  She gets fed at certain intervals and she sleeps for certain intervals.  Those are easy to figure out, but the diaper schedule is quite fascinating. 

How something so small produces so much waste is a true feat.  The best part of it is when you get a diaper changed and as soon as you have the new diaper, the 54 buttons on the outfit, and the swaddle blanket all in place the blow out occurs.  And I do mean blow out!  Rinse and repeat.

We have also discovered something out of all the books we have read and professional advice we have received; little of it matters.  We just function through instinct and have managed to keep her alive this long.  But the books are entertaining, I read one article that recommends breast feeding until they naturally wean themselves; 4.5 years is the average!  You should have seen the look on Emilee's face.

I wish I had seen the look on Emilee's face when our little princess shot poop through the air during a diaper change and all over momma!  Oh, the small pleasures.

I have heard many times that God opens the doors you are to pass through and will close those doors that he deems unnecessary to our lives.  The key to this is recognizing when the door has been opened.  Well, I had one opened this past week.  I am going to be leaving the field on a full time basis to teach full time.

It will be a small reduction in income, but I will not have to work weekends anymore!  We go from having to find some type of child care 10 -12 days a month for our little moppet to 3-4!  Any of you that have dealt with the cost of this know what a savings this will be.  Even with family and friends kicking in it gets obnoxious.  So any of you looking for me can find me playing Mr. Mom on the weekends!

I hope everyone is doing well.  We are all healthy and enjoying the weather change.  After all it is much easier to talk the wife into going for walks when it is 60+ degrees outside, and spring is always so beautiful here in North Georgia.  By the way, who has the best ideas for landscaping a hill if grass is out?

Keep Smiling,

Rob

One Week Down

As you all know by now, we had a new addition to our family.  Anna Grace Bozicevich was born last Monday (3/1/10) and we brought her home last Wednesday afternoon.  In just the past few days I have experienced things I never thought I would experience.  Some of these things have been positive, and some of these things have been negative.  But, I am sure they all make me a stronger person. That which does not kill us makes us stronger, right?

I will readily admit that, so far, the positives WAY outnumber the negatives.  She barely opens her eyes, but when she does you can see all of the potential and future that this little "eight pounds of chaos" has in front of her.  You can see the perfection in God's plan for us.  You see those deep blue eyes...wait a minute, Steve where were you in mid June?  It also makes me reflect on how my parents must have felt looking into my eyes.  I wonder if they were as unsure of themselves as I am right now but as determined to always try to do right by my daughter.

She also  gives you a "fill up" on the spirituality meter.  Those of you that know me well know that I have always been a very hot/cold Christian.  There are times when I am in very close contact with my faith and times when I can only find it using a GPS.  I can tell you that looking at my daughter and desiring to do the best job I can has led me back to the "hot" side.  I pray more earnestly and think more sincerely about the things I need to make happen in my relationship with Christ.  I also remember NOT to pray for patience but for strength.  And I have already remembered to turn over my problems to God and let him carry them for me when I cannot. Only so much crying anyone can take at 3 AM.

Her being home has also given me a sense of family.  We may feel it when we are growing up, but I think many of us lose it when we get out of our parents house.  Until we brought her home I just felt like I was playing house.  Yes I am married. Yes we own a home and have responsibilities.  Yes I have Mom and Kelly.  But I had not felt that true sense of family in a long time.  Everyone goes their own way.  Now Em and I have to guide our daughter and ourselves.  Now I have that sense of family again.

I have also seen myself being tested.  So far I have stayed calm and at peace.  I know that may change if Anna Grace ends up being a colicky baby, but it has been manageable up to this point.  Every day that Emilee and I can keep propping each other up and keep from going crazy is a victory for our family.  We are growing as a team.  We are laying the foundation for our lives and that feels good.

Negatives are all a part of this experience too.  Emilee is hurting.  Labor is not a gentle thing and recovery takes some time.  Emilee has not been able to sit straight for days.  Then she has her milk coming in to feed the baby.  Add a couple of days of no sleep on top of it all.  I think you get the picture.

The days of doing whatever, wherever, whenever are over.  I don't mean that in a "I am pissy that I can't go out to dinner or out with my buddies" kind of way.  I truly never realized what it takes to get a kid out the door.  I have to undress her if she's being swaddled, check a diaper, strap her into the car seat, get her covered back up, and clip her into the car.  All of these to realize that she has just pooped her diaper again.  Rinse and repeat.

And here is my take on the most controversial subject we run into; breast feeding.  Emilee wanted nothing to do with it before she got pregnant.  She thought of it as disgusting.  "It's drainage!" she would exclaim.  As she progressed through the pregnancy and read about what was best for our baby she did a 180.  By the time Anna Grace was born Emilee was a champion of the "breastocracy". Then just when Emilee and Baby Boz were about to have this amazing bonding experience; the little PITA balked. Anna Grace wanted nothing to do with it!

So we brought in the lactation consultants and they helped a little bit.  We talked to the nursery nurses and that helped a little bit.  But "the most natural thing a baby and mother can do" is not the most natural thing for some.  Short of super gluing the kids lips to Emilee, Anna Grace would not (or has not yet anyway) feed "straight from the tap."  To watch as frantic mom and child tried to make this work was heartbreaking.  Talk about feeling helpless;  crying screaming kid and crying frustrated mom and nothing you can do about it.  SO we turned to the next option.  It's bottle time.

So Emilee pumps and we both get to feed.  I can't tell you that this has alleviated all of the stress.  Pumping comes with its own set of issues and we have had to do some supplementation with formula.  Also, I never knew that a 5 day old could have worse smelling gas than most of my friends.  But all I can do is be supportive and try to understand that the kid is way more resilient than I realized. I say all of this because I know that some of "my readers" are expectant fathers and no one bothered to tell me any of this.

BOTTOM LINE: Your child needs to be loved and fed. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!


We are becoming more resourceful quickly though; here are some early lessons:




1. Anna Grace loves the sound of the garden tub.   
2. The "burrito wrap" is a wonderful thing.
3. Great advice is essential. We were worried that we were establishing bad
habits already in an attempt to calm her. Marty Gates (Justin's wife) hit us
with..."Just remember you can break any habits you start. You can't regain your
sanity if you lose it."
4. Mylicon is the BOMB!
5. Work in shifts. Don't let one week turn into one long day.

For any of you expectant fathers that have been reading this; dote on your wife.  The challenges from your newborn are enough, don't piss her off too!



Keep Smiling,

Rob

The Delivery

OK, Emilee was ready to have the baby, but apparently the OB was not. Janet (Day nurse) comes in and tells us that the Doc is in Cumming with another patient and that Emilee should just get comfortable and “not sit up”. Emilee’s response was swift but muted. Fortunately I had the “look dictionary” at my finger tips and could decipher the “tell him to get his ass down here AND PRONTO” look. I’ve seen it; I know to obey. Janet also knew the look and responded nicely with “I’ll get his butt on the phone”. And she did and you could hear her dressing him down all the way in the delivery room.

The funny part of all of this were the instructions Emilee was given. Janet came in and told Emilee that the Doc wanted Emilee to do the following:

1. Don’t sit up.

2. If you feel any pressure, don’t push.

3. Just try to relax.

Em was not very happy, but she was handling it all very well. The funny part was watching her look under the sheets every five minutes. I looked and her and asked “what the hell are you doing?” She looked me dead in the eye and said “I can’t feel a thing down there! What if she just falls out?” Well I guess I had the answer to that question. I also got an answer to number three on the list, but that one is not fit to print. All of this occurred around noon.

As we were waiting for Dr Siegel to arrive Janet came into the room and started to get the pushing process started. I was too afraid to keep the updates flowing while Emilee was in “push mode”. She even asked if I was still keeping everyone updated and I told her no. This was our time and I was not going to infringe on it. Call it self preservation or believe that I was into the moment. I really was. This was the culmination of the past two tears and I was not going to miss any of it.

But back to Janet and her task for Emilee, it was time to start pushing. I even had a job; I was the Left Leg holder. From the position I was in I was able to see everything. My job was to help Emilee get her legs into position so she could effectively push. Each time Em had a contraction I helped her get her leg into a knee to chest position. By doing this it helped open up the pathway for Anna Grace to enter the world. It was a pretty awesome sight. What follows is the non-graphic version.

Imagine a game of two steps forward, one step back in a tunnel and you should have it. As Emilee was pushing I could see the top of Anna Grace’s head and when she stopped it would back up and disappear. There it is, there it goes. There it is, there it goes. There it is, there it goes but not so far as last time. This game went on for about an hour and then the head did not vanish! I was not sure the head was human at this point, but it did not vanish. Now where is the Doc?

Not far away fortunately. He walked in the room around 1:45 PM and took stock of the situation. He determined that Emilee was doing very well, the baby was in no distress, and he had not missed his window of opportunity to bill his full rate. He gets gowned and gloved and gets into catching position, then starts the most amazing part of the whole experience. He starts to text his office!

He was texting his office to let them know he was going to be tied up for a bit, but it was surreal at first. Emilee loves telling everybody that part of the story. He is looking at Emilee’s progress, texting, and telling how great she is doing like he is the ultimate multi-tasker. Good thing he was. We all got into our positions to help Emilee out. At one point he wondered why at 10 cm and a kid about hanging out why Emilee only wanted to push every five to six minutes. Figured it out pretty quick though; the Pitocin was turned off.

So they turned it back on and the real fun began. Now that Emilee had a little drug assist the contraction sped up and became stronger. At approximately 1:50 PM the pushing became serious business. Each time Emilee pushed I thought her eyes were going to come flying out of their sockets. I was lost. We had developed a pre-hospital birthing plan of “just do what the Nurse and Doc tell us to do”. Thank God that they had done about 1000 of these. With the nurse coaching Emilee and the Doc catching all I had to do was be there for support. I even managed to get it right.

Emilee wanted to give up only one time. She felt like “everything down there is ripping apart” despite the epidural. Dr Siegel was able to give some shots of lidocaine and the pain eventually settled down. But it wasn’t the lidocaine that did the trick; it was his and the nurse’s sense of humor. At the worst point for Emilee the nurse and the Doc started joking with her about the people doing the water births down the hall (another blog), and it took her mind off the pain until the local could work.

An hour later we had introduced Anna Grace into the world. Emilee did an amazing job! She never, well almost never, waivered and literally pushed through to success. The group we had to support all of this work Emilee did was amazing. The L&D Nurses and Dr Siegel were the most supportive helpful group you could imagine. I want to give Tracie, Connie, and Janet my heartfelt thanks for everything. We will always have great things to say about our experience

And here she is, at 7 lbs 11 oz and 19.5 inches tall; Anna Grace Bozicevich.