Step Away From the Buffet Please

Emilee and I were out running errands on Monday when we happened upon a thing from the past. A place that defied aging and took me back to my childhood. A place that I once looked upon with reverence and anticipation. My baseball and football playing days would have been empty, even perhaps devoid of happiness, without its life and memory sustaining food and atmosphere. Yes, I am talking about the dine-in Pizza Hut.

Now I know that the above description may be a little over the top. But I know that those of you that grew up around me can fondly remember the Pizza Hut across from Sprayberry. Always crowded and always a buffet full of the (kids are easy to please remember) best pizza on the planet. They even had dessert pizza, and as much of it as you could stomach. I can even remember the night after my last football game of my freshman year when the "O" line went in and the five of us ate 18 pizzas! Not a fabrication either folks. Ah! Great memories.

Fast forward 20 years and you walk into the twilight zone. Emilee, bless her heart, loves Pizza Hut. I have actually heard her talking in her sleep about the bread sticks. "Just a little more marinara" I have heard her cry out into the night. So we ineveitably end up with a $30 medium pizza and breadstick order, of which she has 3 breadsticks and then is full. Every now and then on our errands we and up in Canton and we have to stop at the last buffet Pizza Hut I know of. This is where my true story begins.

As we are walking in I announce "I bet we see at least one Superfat person in here". Unfortunately I was not dissapointed, we spotted a family of them. I am almost inclined to call them a herd based on the feeding habits. They were strategically seated about a foot from the end of the buffet. From here they could watch for new prey to land under the heat lamps, and they did not have to navigate any unwarranted obstacles. It was a man and woman in their 30's with a kid that I would guess was about ten. I am pretty sure he weighed about 200 pounds. The mom and pop were an easy 300-350 each.

We kept an uneasy watch over the feeding. Emilee and I were both awaiting the imminent choking/cardiac arrest/stampeding of other guests that we were sure was going to happen. The enetertaining part came when any of the family members had to get out of their chairs to attack the new prey that had hit the buffet table. They looked very put off that the waitress did not just set the six pizzas she had just brought out directly onto their table. Emilee even noticed the "little" boy was flushed and sweating from EATING. Not getting up, just eating.

I looked at Emilee and told her I hoped she would simply put a bullet in my head if I ever got that big. As a matter of fact, I have that deal with at least one of you reading this and I hope you keep your promise. But what unsettled me the most was the 10 year old. Adults have the ability to make our own decisions. A few of us have allowed ourselves to live an unhealthy life style. We eat the wrong things, drink too much, smoke too much, and generally sit too much. We make the decisions that make us feel crummy and have only ourselves to blame for it.

But children take their examples from parents and the other authority figures around them. Kids are going to do whatever we allow them to get away with. All that child's parents have done is set the kid up for more and earlier onset of health problems, ridicule from his peers, self pity, and a general lack of self estseem. I notice these things more now that I am preparing to be a father. If any of you see me allowing my children, or should I say failing my children please let me know.

We all have the ability to make ourselves as healthy or unhealthy as we want, but please lets not pass that down to our children.


Stay Safe,

Rob