One Week Down

As you all know by now, we had a new addition to our family.  Anna Grace Bozicevich was born last Monday (3/1/10) and we brought her home last Wednesday afternoon.  In just the past few days I have experienced things I never thought I would experience.  Some of these things have been positive, and some of these things have been negative.  But, I am sure they all make me a stronger person. That which does not kill us makes us stronger, right?

I will readily admit that, so far, the positives WAY outnumber the negatives.  She barely opens her eyes, but when she does you can see all of the potential and future that this little "eight pounds of chaos" has in front of her.  You can see the perfection in God's plan for us.  You see those deep blue eyes...wait a minute, Steve where were you in mid June?  It also makes me reflect on how my parents must have felt looking into my eyes.  I wonder if they were as unsure of themselves as I am right now but as determined to always try to do right by my daughter.

She also  gives you a "fill up" on the spirituality meter.  Those of you that know me well know that I have always been a very hot/cold Christian.  There are times when I am in very close contact with my faith and times when I can only find it using a GPS.  I can tell you that looking at my daughter and desiring to do the best job I can has led me back to the "hot" side.  I pray more earnestly and think more sincerely about the things I need to make happen in my relationship with Christ.  I also remember NOT to pray for patience but for strength.  And I have already remembered to turn over my problems to God and let him carry them for me when I cannot. Only so much crying anyone can take at 3 AM.

Her being home has also given me a sense of family.  We may feel it when we are growing up, but I think many of us lose it when we get out of our parents house.  Until we brought her home I just felt like I was playing house.  Yes I am married. Yes we own a home and have responsibilities.  Yes I have Mom and Kelly.  But I had not felt that true sense of family in a long time.  Everyone goes their own way.  Now Em and I have to guide our daughter and ourselves.  Now I have that sense of family again.

I have also seen myself being tested.  So far I have stayed calm and at peace.  I know that may change if Anna Grace ends up being a colicky baby, but it has been manageable up to this point.  Every day that Emilee and I can keep propping each other up and keep from going crazy is a victory for our family.  We are growing as a team.  We are laying the foundation for our lives and that feels good.

Negatives are all a part of this experience too.  Emilee is hurting.  Labor is not a gentle thing and recovery takes some time.  Emilee has not been able to sit straight for days.  Then she has her milk coming in to feed the baby.  Add a couple of days of no sleep on top of it all.  I think you get the picture.

The days of doing whatever, wherever, whenever are over.  I don't mean that in a "I am pissy that I can't go out to dinner or out with my buddies" kind of way.  I truly never realized what it takes to get a kid out the door.  I have to undress her if she's being swaddled, check a diaper, strap her into the car seat, get her covered back up, and clip her into the car.  All of these to realize that she has just pooped her diaper again.  Rinse and repeat.

And here is my take on the most controversial subject we run into; breast feeding.  Emilee wanted nothing to do with it before she got pregnant.  She thought of it as disgusting.  "It's drainage!" she would exclaim.  As she progressed through the pregnancy and read about what was best for our baby she did a 180.  By the time Anna Grace was born Emilee was a champion of the "breastocracy". Then just when Emilee and Baby Boz were about to have this amazing bonding experience; the little PITA balked. Anna Grace wanted nothing to do with it!

So we brought in the lactation consultants and they helped a little bit.  We talked to the nursery nurses and that helped a little bit.  But "the most natural thing a baby and mother can do" is not the most natural thing for some.  Short of super gluing the kids lips to Emilee, Anna Grace would not (or has not yet anyway) feed "straight from the tap."  To watch as frantic mom and child tried to make this work was heartbreaking.  Talk about feeling helpless;  crying screaming kid and crying frustrated mom and nothing you can do about it.  SO we turned to the next option.  It's bottle time.

So Emilee pumps and we both get to feed.  I can't tell you that this has alleviated all of the stress.  Pumping comes with its own set of issues and we have had to do some supplementation with formula.  Also, I never knew that a 5 day old could have worse smelling gas than most of my friends.  But all I can do is be supportive and try to understand that the kid is way more resilient than I realized. I say all of this because I know that some of "my readers" are expectant fathers and no one bothered to tell me any of this.

BOTTOM LINE: Your child needs to be loved and fed. DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO!


We are becoming more resourceful quickly though; here are some early lessons:




1. Anna Grace loves the sound of the garden tub.   
2. The "burrito wrap" is a wonderful thing.
3. Great advice is essential. We were worried that we were establishing bad
habits already in an attempt to calm her. Marty Gates (Justin's wife) hit us
with..."Just remember you can break any habits you start. You can't regain your
sanity if you lose it."
4. Mylicon is the BOMB!
5. Work in shifts. Don't let one week turn into one long day.

For any of you expectant fathers that have been reading this; dote on your wife.  The challenges from your newborn are enough, don't piss her off too!



Keep Smiling,

Rob