Howdy Ho neighbors and welcome to another edition of "Rob is amazed at the things we discover on the route to having a baby". In today's edition we will talk about cribs, strollers, hand-me-downs, and whatever else strikes my fancy. Sometimes I totally understand the reasoning for some things, and at other times I am completely baffled. For instance...how has Snuffleupagus survived his heroin habit for 40 years?
40 years! That is how long Sesame Street has been on TV. I fondly remember the letters and numbers that were being taught to me. We never saw it coming either! How many of us like to sit down and actually learn something that might be useful. Sure we learn skills to make our life easier, but I challenge any of you to pick up a book on something you have zero interest in and learn anything. If you do, some of you can thank Bert, Ernie, Cookie Monster, and the Count for helping to teach you to read and learn your numbers. My favorites were The Count and Cookie Monster. I still run around singing "C Is For Cookie", and yelling "two, two bats ah ah ah." I hope you get those references, they sound better than they type. By the way, this blog is brought to you by the numbers 2, 5, and 0.
As in why does a crib have to weigh 250 POUNDS?!? When the guys from JC Penny delivered it I thought I was going to watch one of them stroke out in front of me. Why are the delivery guys always a sandwich shy of a buck fifty? You would think they would send some folks that had some bulk. Anyway, I got confused about the crib. The max a kid is going to weigh that lives in the crib is what 40 pounds? So why does the crib have to weigh so much? I personally think that when I open the box that there will be a note attached to a lead bar. The note will read "The Chinese white slavers pay us by the pound, sorry for your hernia".
Speaking of sweatshops, who makes all of these baby clothes. First of all I would like to thank Amy, Robin, Marty, and anyone else I so grievously forgot to list for the second hand clothes. I know that they are not cheap and we have saved hundreds of dollars through the generosity of others. However, we now have a full, and I mean FULL, closet of 0-3 months clothing. We have enough to put her in a different outfit everyday and then be six months old. Who cranks out all of these clothes? By the way, we need second hand bullion if you have any of that laying around.
Do you know what else I would want laying around? Me, on my nice new couch! But I do not have a nice new couch. Do you want to know why I do not have a nice new couch? Good, I'll tell you. I would have to sell one or both of my kidneys to afford the thing. We have been furniture shopping since before we put an offer on the house in Dawsonville. We were looking for bedroom furniture because we had bought a new mattress. Have any of you been furniture shopping lately? I finally decided I was going to take the back seats out of the Jeep and use those for living room furniture. At least I can have those paid off in a couple of years! Any suggestions as to where to go for decent and affordable furniture are welcome.
I am too depressed to go into the newest Taiwanese stroller torture. Just know that I think they have Emilee's computer IP and are sending subliminal messages through the screen.
Lastly, an update. Anna Grace will be 25 weeks this Thursday! 25 weeks happens to be my mental alarm date for a safe delivery. I know this seems WAY early to most of you and I agree with you. But my niece Ginny was born at 25 weeks and other than having the mother as a birth defect (sorry Kelly, too easy) she has been wonderful. I look at her as inspiration of what a life and spirit can do if we fight hard enough. I know by her example that after Thursday the sky is the limit for little Shaniquia Umfufu. Or Anna Grace for that matter.
Stay Safe,
Rob
DACIA and CHRISTINE! You forgot about all the maternity clothes they gave me, when after 12 weeks I outgrew all of Marty's clothes! And Chuck and Jennifer for all the baby stuff (half of which we still need to go pick up). Our friends ROCK! Now if only someone would give us a couch...
ReplyDeleteJust kidding! Love you guys!
Rob, what about all my Victoria Secrets lingerie I gave you? American Furniture outlet I hear is good. C.E.C.
ReplyDeleteBy the way, isn't that the Cookie Monster, lighting his cookie dough crack?
ReplyDeleteRob, those cribs will hold at least 165 pounds. The reason I know this is because my mother told me that after Daddy put my crib together for the first time, Daddy climbed in and shook it like a magnitude 8 earthquake, jumping up and down. He said that if it would stand up to a good shake, no way was he putting his baby in it.
ReplyDeleteLynn
I guess I'll have to let you in on the "secret".
ReplyDeleteThey weigh so much due to the quantity and quality of the wood. This is so it can be taken apart and used to build a small boat. Then when you croak from buying all this crap AND trying to buy multilple houses AND trying to buy a just right small island for you anniversary, Em can put you dead butt in the boat - so to speak - light it on fire, push you out into the lake and wish you luck on your voyage to Valhalla.
It would help if you had a shield to lay on, but the crib springs will do in a pinch. Everyone already knows you are/were broke anyway.
Glad to help.
'Noid
Note to Em:
ReplyDeleteLight the boat, not the butt.
'Noid
I checked out the crib; no Norse head attachment. Does that mean that I can't go to Valhalla? Or does it simply mean I have to fashion one myself?
ReplyDeleteThink carving - or in your case, whittling.
ReplyDeleteIt will also help if you get one of those fat ladies to dress the part (you know, horns on the helmet, big old metal bra cups, etc.) and sing.
'Noid